Published August 14, 2010
So, so silly... It's three in the morning though, so let me be! XD
If I Could Make Music
By Romance Otaku (http://romanceotaku.com/)
If I could make music
I would definitely start off with a kick and a bass
So hard that the sub woofer would shake in its case
If I could make music
Harmonious, happy melodies would ring
Much more beautiful than any human could sing
Know what, I bet I can make music!
I would practice every night
Then I could make music, right?
Wait, how much did you say that was?
Ahem... I think I'll go home and pick up my pen
Maybe someday I'll try again
If I could make music
I would use the beat as my sword
If only it was something I could afford...
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140,840 Literary Works • 673,694 Reviews
This is the sort of fun, silly poem I can imagine finding in a children"s book - and that's a good thing! I especially like the first two stanzas. They really start the poem off well and set the rhyming pattern. Plus, the whole poem's really creative and fun! The only critique i have is watch your end punctuation. But good job and keep writing!
Yes, I agree, it is kind of silly, but I like it! It kind of reminds me of Dr. Seuss' writing style! Lots of enthusiasm!
In the second line of the first stanza, I think you should change "bass" to "base", so it would rhyme.
I especially like the second and third stanzas.
This poem is very imaginative! Great job, and keep on writing! You have a talent!
~Lindsay
This poem was really cute but there were a few errors that I saw straight on,
It was just a few holes in the poetry armor, but even those can knock a good poem like this to the ground. Work on your punctuation and grammar and message me if you have any questions. Keep writing!
It is silly, yes, but it's really cute
I like your flow and your subject matter
Those were my two favorite stanzas
~Kit